


Kick start my heart

by Givexmexempty



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Frerard, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28360023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Givexmexempty/pseuds/Givexmexempty
Summary: Gerard abandoned Frank in the desert, and after five years, they met again...
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 1





	Kick start my heart

Gerard was so happy because after hours of driving to nowhere, finally some buildings started to appear in the distance. It was like a ghost town, at eleven in the morning there was no one around, just the lonely road and the old fashioned houses with enough distance between them to kill someone without alarm the neighbors. Not what he had in mind exactly, but you never know when bloody things could happen...  
He needed some indications to found a decent hotel, and some electricity to charge his phone. Gerard was driving since two days ago, without any clue of what he was doing or where he was going, but the half of his life was that way, so it was part of the daily routine..

Finally, he decided to stop in a house with green wooden grating. And the only one which showed a bit of human presence with two kids running in the front yard.  
He got out of the car, feeling truly relief for the possibility of move his legs, and started to walk to the kids.

Suddenly, a woman came to the kids, smiling to them and didn't notice Gerard's presence until he made a noise with his throat. 

"Oh, didn't see you there!" the woman said, with a hand in the middle of his chest, surprised and a bit worried. She put their kids behind and stared at Gerard with curious but gentle eyes "Are you lost?" she asked.

"Yeah, and have my phone battery dead" he tried to sound nice"My name is Gerard Way" he extended his hand to the lady, feeling a bit awkward because he usually don't use his full name. Or his real name, but the woman had this aura of kindness...Gerard could feel when someone was dangerous, an the woman just looked like a good mom...  
"Jamia" she grabbed his hand and smiled to him happily"You come from the city?"

"California, actually..."

"Oh! Far away... You drove the whole trip?"

"Yes..."

"My husband comes from California too! Would you like to come into the house? I can offer you some water and a comfy chair until your phone is ready..."

"I don't want to bother you..."

"Oh, come on! You look tired. It's not a problem, I'll enjoy some company by the way..."

"Yeah, it be cool some rest..."

Gerard followed the young lady to the house, feeling how different people were in small towns. In California nobody helps nobody when someone was hurt or in a hurry, but when he was in small towns people looked so friendly and they trust easily. 

The woman connected his phone and started to cook something, putting a glass of water for Gerard in the kitchen table.

"Come on, you can sit there or in the couch if you want..."

"Here is good" Gerard sit in the kitchen, drinking water while the woman opened the fridge to grab some vegetables.

She was young, with a big smile and gentle eyes, round face and dressed in a hoodie and leggings. She was a tall woman, with round hips and a prominent abdomen, but Gerard though it could be for a recent pregnancy. Soon he confirmed that, when he heard a small crying coming from the room next door.

"Sorry, my son is crying..." she said, apologizing and going to the room for her child.

So she had three kids, a boy around six and a girl who seems like five, in addition to the creature in the room who was crying.

She returned to the kitchen with her child in one arm, and continued cooking like if was nothing, like if the kid was a kind of backpack. 

"His name is Thomas. We named him like that because of my husband middle name. He is not the kid's father but...it's like he is"

"Where is he?"

"Working..."

"And you watch for the kids all by yourself?"

"Yes, but he never stay after five at work. Frank is very helpful, even when he wouldn't have to help..."

"Your husband name is Frank?" Gerard asked, feeling the old wound in his chest opening a little bit. Just when he was okay, surviving without thinking in his ex anymore... 

Their relationship hadn't been ideal because of the job they had, but they were in love, Gerard knew all was real, but too dangerous to keep having it too. 

"Yes! Very rare name in the town, but I like that. Sounds perfect for him"

"Can I use your bathroom? " he felt suddenly dizzy so maybe a bit of water on the face could help.

"Sure, it's that door here..." Jamia pointed a white door in the end of the hallway. Gerard stand up and went to the bathroom, and when he was returning to the kitchen, he stopped in the middle of the way...  
There was a picture, framed in black wood, hanging in the wall, with a few other but this one was in the center. It was a family portrait with Jamia and the kids, and a man Gerard knew well...

So Jamia's Frank was the same Frank once was his own boyfriend.

"That's my husband" Jamia appeared behind him, but Gerard couldn't stop staring the picture. He touched the glass cover, trying to convince himself it was a mistake and that man wasn't Frank Iero, but he was. Clearly he had the same tattoos, the same fucking sweet smile...

"Casually, his full name is Frank Iero?" Gerard couldn't contain himself and just threw the question to Jamia. He needed to know from her lips it wasn't just a mind trick.

"Yes. You know my Frank?"she asked, with the happiest smile Gerard had ever seen. 

"Yeah, he's an old friend"

"This is incredible! God, I felt that I was doing the right thing helping you, but never imagine it was a destiny's thing! You must wait until he came back!"

"Oh, no, no...can't stay too much, but I'll be back someday after five in the afternoon..." Gerard panicked.

"Can you let us you number at least?"

"I'm an old fashioned guy, you know...I think it's better see him in person"

"I agree, otherwise he never believe me! How long have you been friends?" Jamia looked very excited and totally forgot the cooking and ignored the sound of his son crying in the baby chair.

"Long time" Gerard smiled, softly. What if he say the truth? What if he say he and Frank had a wild thing for almost five years? Maybe he could, and then disappear, broke the family and be a bitch, but he caused too much pain to Frank once. Two times would be disgusting and he doesn't want to really do something against him "We worked together..." he said, coughing to clear his throat that was closing with the pent-up emotion of being so close to Frank again.

"Oh, you were a killjoy too?" she almost yell, the mouth completely open in excitement.

"Yes..." Gerard answered, a bit insecure about the story Frank told his wife. But apparently she knew he'd been a Killjoy in the past...

"He told me about his old job. I knew he was one of them, I heard stories of these people in the desert. That's were you came from? California desert?"

"Y..."

"I can't believe this! It's so exciting" she said, interrupting Gerard "He told me he had a dangerous job before, and he did this bad things, and had a lot of enemies..."

"Yeah, we were pretty busy avoiding bad guys..."

"He was shot twice!"

"I know, I remember those times..."

"So you were partners?" she asked, innocently. Oh, god, if Gerard only could tell her about being more than partners...

"Something like that..."

"Sorry, but he doesn't talk too much of his past. I don't know why, but I thought it was because he wanted to protect us?"

"Yes, he does things like that. Keep an eye on people he love. Better you know just the essential. That's not something to tell to your family, you know?"

"Yes, I know he love us. He's the best dad, the best husband, and is so handsome and..."

"Maybe it's time for me to go" Gerard announced, trying to scape from Jamia. She was nice, but also was the wife of the only man he ever loved. 

"He is going to be so happy to hear from you!"

"Hope so" Gerard said, with a sour smile. He knew he was the last thing Frank wanted to heard about, but Jamia needed to keep thinking whatever Frank told her about his past life. "It was a pleasure to meet you and your beautiful kids"

"Hope to see you soon! We can have lunch together another day..." Jamia said, putting his son in the room again. Apparently she was busy changing a diaper, so Gerard quickly took a pencil from his pocket and wrote his number on the back side of the photo in the wall, before Jamia returned from the room...

"Sure..."

Gerard left the house feeling completely broken. Frank was alive, happy and safe, and it's all that he wanted for him but maybe he preferred the idea of him dead than with a woman. He didn't know Frank liked women!

They met in the middle of the desert, working with another killjoys, and all started so fast that he can't remember when exactly he felt in love with Frank. Maybe from the first time he saw him.

He came one day with a lot of injuries and cuts, clothes covered in mud and blood, and Gerard felt his heart bouncing fast in his chest just seeing that man and his stupid grin. He was short, but with some badass attitude, beautiful golden skin tone with bunch of tattoos everywhere. The hair carefully short on both sides and a lip ring. Gerard couldn't stop looking at him during all that day, even when he was helping the guy with a wet towel to clean his wounds.

Frank didn't leave the crew after that. He stayed in their refugee, and didn't waste time trying to hide his feeling for Gerard. He fell for the guy too, and with two nights talking while they were resting before a busy day, he knew it was more than simple attraction . He loved the red hair, the pretty face, the way his eyes seemed green sometimes and other times with a beautiful hazel tone. He felt for the first time in his life secure and truly happy. So he kissed him...

They didn't have much time to spent together, and because of that their relationship never was a romantic thing. It was more fucking in the middle of the night hidden from people, and trying to survive in the desert. But sometimes they had a little time to just hug each other and enjoy whispering sweet things.

They had an old car, that was partially a home when they were in a mission, and it was like a sacred place to cuddle and be more like a normal couple, but it always was difficult. They spent most of the time together running in the middle of a road crowded with Draculoids or stupid assholes trying to shot them.

Everything screw up when their organization was persecuted by Korse. Gerard knew him since they were kids, but they chose different ways. He went with BL/Ind, and Gerard stayed in the desert with his family, which was soon reduced to only Mikey, his younger brother.  
Korse was the main responsible for all the deaths and suffer from this times, and when they thought nothing could be worst, Gerard realized he was pregnant. 

Frank was happy, after all, and made plans to start all over again far away from the killjoys life, but it was impossible. When he knew about the baby, he forbade Gerard to fight or grab a pistol, so he did all the work by himself while Gerard stayed in an improvised shelter in the middle of the desert, with two bottles of water. One bottle for him, and the other for Frank when he returned. It was the only way to keep him safe, because all the other attempts which consisted in hide Gerard in the car went wrong.  
They spent the day caving in the sand, building the shelter until Korse discovered their method, and discovered Gerard pregnancy.

They tried to escape, hide, and disappear forever , but Korse had his own ways to tortured them and like if was nothing, he killed Gerard's brother. 

It was the same day Bandit was born.

Gerard was hidden in a house, just for the night, with one girl who helped him to gave birth the baby and protected him in case trouble happens outside while Frank was in the desert, trying to kill all the members of Korse army that came to kill them.

Frank tried to protect Mikey, because that night he was hurt in one of his legs. Frank wasn't attacking , just covering Mikey. Korse noticed and he went directly for Kobra and kill him with a single shoot in the head. He can't even get the corpse back, because fucking Draculoids took advantage and Killjoys had to back off. Korse himself burnt all the dead corpses of that night.

"It's a girl...!" Gerard smiled, showing Frank a little human covered with an old blanket, resting in his arms. But Frank never returns the smile, he put all his guns aside, and started to cry, falling on his knees. It could be the best day of their lives, but that day Mikey was dead. He was the only family Gerard had, and he didn't have any chance to say goodbye to him.

They passed six months without being found by Korse, but they knew all the Killjoys were dead. They were the last ones surviving in the dessert. According to what they heard, Jet Star was dead too.  
At the same time, something happened with Korse, and the last thing they knew was he was all alone, no army or partners anymore to help him. 

He was out of BL/Ind, but still looking for Frank and Gerard.

They lived in the car a couple months, driving here and there, and when they started to settle in an old house in the desert, they had news from Korse and tried to hide in the desert, but near midnight they were caught by him.  
Frank was the first to attack, but Korse was paying attention to the girl in Gerard arms. He hadn't have a second to hide her.  
She was just eight months, and after a certain shoot in Gerard chest, Korse took the girl and kill her the same way he did with Mikey.

Of course Frank didn't mention that to Jamia, Gerard thought. Frank erased all the past events because he deserved that. He deserves forgot and start again, after Gerard left him almost dying in the desert.

After Bandit's death, Frank tried to heal Gerard's wound in the middle of his chest, and after two months they could leave the place they were using for hiding. But they never talk each other anymore. Gerard just nodded or say short phrases. Every time he saw Frank, he remembered Bandit's face. So he avoid any contact with Frank.

Gerard knew Korse wanted to kill him. Only him, not Frank, because they had a thing long time ago and Gerard left him. That was the main reason of all the instigation and persecution. Korse was in love with him when they were just teenagers, and he couldn't deal with it like a normal person.  
Because of that, he thought the only way to save Frank was leave him. He knew Frank would be better without him.

He drove for hours, avoiding Franks attempts to having a conversation. He wanted to know where they were going, but Gerard only had one thing in mind. He had to do it now.

After he stopped the car, Gerard get out and started to smoke, feeling the desert air and the sand sticking in his clothes. His hands trembled, and he felt his chest burning. Frank followed him, standing in front of Gerard, forcing him to look straight into his face.

"What happened to us? Don't you love me anymore?" he asked, almost crying. He still love Gerard, of course he does, but their relationship was so broken that he couldn't just pretend nothing happened. But he wanted to fix it. 

"Of course I do" Gerard smiled sweetly, and left a soft kiss in Frank's lips before taking his gun from his pocket. He knew Frank doesn't have any guns on him, so he pushed him to the ground and shot him in his shoulder.  
Frank screamed in pain, trying to understand why Gerard did that, but Gerard avoid his eyes and went back to the car, leaving him there in the hot sand, bleeding. 

Gerard knew Frank will survive. He was a natural survivor, smart enough to understand the facts, so he wasn't surprised to hear from him after five years. He was alive in a shitty town with a wife and kids, and even if the circumstances were a bit awkward, he was alive. He had a normal life and everything Gerard couldn't provide from him.

Gerard found a cheap room in a small motel, and put his gun below the pillow. Even after Korse was dead he doesn't feel secure.

The desert life was hard, but after leaving Frank dying, he wait for a year to come back. Frank was not there anymore, and he wasn't trying to contact him. He knew Frank was a very resentful person, and would never forgive him for what he did. But he didn't want forgiveness. He just wanted Korse dead.  
Gerard spent another year trying to locate the motherfucker, and when he did, he tricked him. He let him feel he was interested in a relationship with him, and he believed it.

Korse was very depressed because his partner, his lover, a simple and normal man was murdered for the company he was working, like a threat for him. Gerard knew he wasn't the same man who killed his daughter anymore, but the damage was done, and he needed to kill him.

He offered spent one night together to prove he was saying the truth, and before Korse started to kiss him, he shot him in the head. Gerard stayed for twenty long minutes watching Korse dying in the floor. His death was slow, very slow, blood gushing from the wound of his head and his mouth, the eyes open in horror and pain, staring Gerard. 

After that, he cried until he fell asleep in the car, feeling relief but also how his life was loosing all meaning. He had nothing to live for, but something inside him said he need to keep going. So he does the only thing he could do and drove letting the road guide him.

Frank went home like every day, but he felt something was wrong. Instinctively he grab the gun from behind the car seat, and put it in his pocket, entering the house slowly. 

But nothing was wrong int the house, Jamia welcomed him with a kiss and the kids ran to hug him. Nothing weird.

He played with the kids and it wasn't until dinner hour when Jamia told him about an old friend who came to visit them in the morning. Immediately, he panicked. What if some old enemies found him? He thought all these people were dead, but he can't be totally sure. They had their ways to find people.

"What friend?" he asked, fist clenched behind the table, his heart racing fast...

"He asked for charge his phone battery and I invited him inside..."

"I told you that was dangerous..."

"You are too paranoid, honey. He looked like a nice decent guy, so he came inside the house and sit in the chair. He went to the bathroom and I saw him staring at the picture of all us in the wall. So he asked if my husband was Frank Iero, and I can't believe he knew you!"

" What friend he told you he was?"

"He said his name was Gerard. Can't remember what more..."

"Doesn't matter. Don't let him come inside again. Ever. I'm sure he isn't that person..."

"But why? He seemed like a good guy...he looked surprised too and didn't know you live here..."

"People outside the town was bad, you know that. Never open the door to strangers!"

"But you came here that way too! You appeared in the town with a destroyed arm! And if it hadn't been for my decision to open my door for you..."

"I know...but once you did it and it goes well. Twice is too risky. And even more if they told you things about me. I told you what I did for a living..."

Frank was too anxious to sleep, a battle in his mind between relief for knowing Gerard is alive and rage because he needed to kill that man with his own hands. And for all the memories. He couldn't deny all the love he felt was pure and the most amazing thing he lived, he can't forgot Gerard, even if he shot him and abandoned him years ago. 

It was difficult to understand when he had a bullet in the shoulder. He felt betrayed, ashamed for being shot and left alone in the middle of nowhere.

He walked for hours, avoiding the burning feeling in his shoulder and his arm, knowing there was a town near. If Gerard really wanted to kill him, he would left him dying deep in the desert, not so close to the town. 

Soon he understand what was Gerard's plan, he wanted to protect him from Korse, but it doesn't mean he will forgive him. Never. He could consider him dead from now on.

That night he knocked the first door he could reach before fell to the ground. It was Jamia's house, and she never doubted in help him. She left her children in the house while she drove to the hospital with Frank. She never saw too much drama in town, so he felt a bit excited because finally something happened. Even if it was a man with bloody clothes, an infected wound and a hangin arm with a horrible dark bruise, almost black, in the shoulder. She stayed with him in the hospital until doctors, after a short surgery, said he will be okay. And he visited him every day for a month , and when he was capable of walk around without any risk of infection or something worse, she offered a temporary place inside her own house.  
She recently had lost her husband because he was a pilot and died in an accident, and she discovered she was pregnant after he died. She was only a month, and she didn't want to be alone in the house, so he begged Frank to stay.

Frank got out of the bed, trying to be quiet. Jamia was sleeping after a hard day with the kids, and the last thing he wanted was wake her up. He went to the bathroom, trying to avoid some toys in the floor, but something distracted him before he could reach the door.  
On the wall. The photo hanging there was a bit crooked, as if someone had moved it from his place. He usually noticed that sort of things.

Frank took it, and the back side had a number written there. He almost dropped it...

It could be...? 

He placed again the photo in the wall, and grabbed his phone before going to the backyard.

What if is really Gerard? He lit a cigarette and started to smoke while he called the number written in the back of the wall picture...

Gerard was in the motel, smoking and trying to cook something in the small microwave he got from the receptionist. He borrow the thing for a few bills. It wasn't clean and smelled like fried chicken but at least worked.

He opened a can of tomato sauce, and put it in a piece of bread, added a touch of cheese, putting the miserable thing in the microwave for a few second. That was going to be dinner for that night. Not a fancy one, but considering he never had the chance of eat more than canned stuff, a piece of bread which seemed remotely as pizza, was more than okay.

The microwave was starting to make a lot of smoke when he felt the phone on his pocket buzzing.

"Hello?" he answered, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder, dancing Bad Company, from Bad Company, trying to remove the smoke with his hands...—Please say something! "he chanted "I'm in the middle of burning my fancy dinner in my shitty room, so..."

Frank had no doubt the man in the other side of the line was Gerard. He could recognize his voice anytime...

"Well, my friend...hope you have a good night..." Gerard said, almost hanging the phone call, when he got his answer.

"I want you out of this place. I'll kill you if I see you around. Did you hear me?" said the voice, an angry one, and Gerard let the shitty pizza drop from his hands to the floor. His mouth was open but he can't say a single word..."I'm going to assume you understand. Never try to contact me or being near my house and my family..."

"Frank...I wasn't trying to contact you..."

"Shut up. You can't be here. I'm going to shoot you and you know I will if you dare to disobey me..."

"I swear I didn't know you lived here..."

"Well, now you know..."

Frank cut off the call before Gerard could say anything else. He felt his heart beating so fast and so strong in his chest...

Gerard let the pizza in the floor and went straight to bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to understand what had happened minutes ago. Frank didn't sound angry like he expected he would be, even if his words were rude, his voice sounded more like a desperate petition. And he knew Frank could never shoot him, even if he said he will. Well, maybe he could, but not in a serious way. He knows how to use a gun just to hurt.

After a few hours of sleep, he took a bath and dressed the usual way, and planned to go to have breakfast in the restaurant near the motel. Maybe he could see Frank casually. Because maybe he doesn't care that much about the threat he did on the phone. Maybe meeting his wife was for some destiny or religious thing, and he couldn't just leave and doing nothing about. That's what he preferred to believe, even if he wasn't a religious person.  
And fuck Frank.

People looked a bit scandalized because of his make up and his clothes, but he couldn't afford more normal outfits. And he didn't want. He liked being a flamboyant man, with skinny jeans and leather jackets. He didn't look so weird, but people of small towns dressed like if they're going to church every day. 

Gerard laughed imagining these people seeing him with his red hair like he used to wear years ago. Or pregnant! People would go crazy... Frank would dress like these people now?

After breakfast, he couldn't decide where to go. He needed to find Frank's work place, but he didn't think people will tell him something. They looked afraid enough to have a talk with him anyways. So he drive for a while, stopping in some stores, until his goddam car made a strange noise. He have heard that sound before, when he was driving at night in an empty road, and after twenty minutes he was trapped there with a useless car. 

He looked around and saw a messy garage full of cars, and he supposed it would be a repair car store. So he drove there with his outfit and his sunglasses, and tried to talk to the first guy he saw, flirting a little bit because he knew straight men always felt intrigued by him being so feminine and conspicuous.

"Can you help then?"Gerard asked, and the man nodded, smoking like a dragon, fast, and exhaling the smoke through the nose. He was a fat man, blonde, with a solid beard and rotten teeth. 

"Sure I will, princess..."he said, and Gerard smiled until the guy wasn't looking. He passed his keys to the guy and started to smoke sitting in a dirty couch, waiting for his car. 

When forty minutes passed, he spoke to the blonde guy again, asking how much time he needed to wait.

"Actually like ten minutes. You can take a look around if you want..."the guy suggested, clearly interested in seeing Gerard's ass when he'll turn around. 

"Thank you"Gerard said, moving his eyes and his eyelashes in a stupid way, but the blonde guy seemed pleased for that. With a bit of luck he won't charge for the repair...

Gerard passed between some weird metallic pieces, smoking and with zero real interest in mechanical stuff, but suddenly something caught his attention. There was just two guys in a garage in the background. One quietly working in a car, and the other smashing a metallic box with a hammer. 

He stared at the guy, realizing he was nothing more and nothing less than Frank. And it was pretty funny, because he hit the metallic thing, with full force but the thing was doing nothing, never moves a single inch. So Gerard couldn't contain himself from laugh. 

The other guy got out, and Frank paralyzed, noticing Gerard, without believing he was really there. 

Gerard smiled, bitting his lip and walking closer to Frank. The point of his laced boots almost touching one part of the thing Frank was working on.

"Do you think it was a fucking joke?"Frank asked, with an angry voice, but Gerard knew when he was really, seriously angry. And he wasn't. But he stepped back a little because Frank had a hammer in his hands...

"I was leaving your fucking town, but fucking car decided to die...I didn't even know you are now a car fixer..."he said, opening a bubblegum pack and eating it, pretending he was okay and calm, even if Frank was red from anger.

Frank tried to be more angry with him but he couldn't. He was so relieved for seeing him alive and in one piece. He looked same as five years ago, but with black hair. Gerard was a beautiful man, and he could bet he was dressed like that on purpose. It was the jacket he used to wear when they were together...It was like time doesn't pass between them...

"Now it's done. You can leave"

"Ok, nice to see you then..." Gerard nodded, smiling a bit, and turning back to get out of the garage. He knew Frank was staring yet, so he didn't walk so fast, just normal steps, hoping the man yells at him but he didn't. He even flirt with the blonde fat guy knowing Frank could see him.

At least the fixing thing was cheap, or the guy charged him a few dollars less just for his pretty ass. 

Gerard jumped into the car and started to drive again, without a single clue of his new destiny.  
But after five minutes he stopped, thinking that he didn't want to leave. It was a boring place, but he could stay a little. He needed vacations, so he turn around and avoiding the garage he returned to the motel.  
"You know what, Frankie?" he called Frank. He didn't answer, but he left a message anyways "I kinda like this place...I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart..."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading! Im really happy to post this story, I wrote it a few years ago and was super fun to do it. I really appreciate every comment, just be kind and thanks again for reading!  
> Love ya!


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